Jace's Time with Me
by jDanny96
Summary: inspired by others, i decided to have dialouge between me and jace...should be interesting :
1. Mac&Cheese

**Okay, I've wanted to do this for a long time, but just so you know, I think others have done it too. xD **R&R! **Me and Jace =P**

Me: Hi =D

Jace: Where's everybody?

Me: They left me in charge of you

Jace: Why?

Me: They said something about you not being able to handle being alone…?

Jace: I'M NOT FIVE

Me: You might not look it, but I'm not so sure.

Jace: -stares-

Me: What? Looks are deceiving!

Jace: If I was five now, think about how I'd look when I'm twenty.

Me: well, maybe a bit old. Less cute, definitely.

Jace: Hey. I'm not getting less cute, ever!

Me: Conceited much?

Jace: Yes, yes I am. Everyone likes it.

Me: Oh, no they don't. they made a list.

Jace: -suspicious- a list?

Me: Of what to watch out for from you. Conceited is right under 'dribbles food'

Jace: I do not drib—

Me: I think we should buy a bib. Just for safe measure.

Jace: I am sixtee—

Me: Princess or Spiderman? I'm feeling Snow White, to be honest.

Jace: -gives up- I'm more of a Cinderella person myself.

Me: Oh! That's good.

Jace: What? Why?

Me: BECAUSE I HAVE THE DVD.

Jace: -horrified- no. don't tell me what I don't want to hear.

Me: WE ARE WATCHING IT! Yay!

Jace: nooooo! My innocent eyes!

Me: -snorts- innocent? Yeah, right.

Jace: hey. I might kill demons and stuff, but I'm a softie at the bottom of my heart.

Me: -chokes- you have a HEART? What else do you have that I don't know about? Cooties?

Jace: Only if you want me to.

Me: Dear Lord, please.

Jace: then let me go. I need to tell Alec something anyways.

Me: No way. Clary trusts me. And Alec can always come here.

Jace: Damn. Fine.

Me: ALEC! ALEC! ARE YOU THERE?

Alec: You know, you can always call me in a normal tone.

Me: Inside voices are for losers.

Jace: I hate to admit, but that's true.

Alec: Whatever. Hurry up guys. Magnus needs me.

Me: I always find that cute xD

Jace: Ew Jess. Ew. Anyways, Alec. Can I borrow that thing I was telling you about?

Me: …what thing?

Alec: OH. _That_ thing. That thing that's not to be talked about ever. Yeah, sure. But later. Magnus needs help.

Me: With what?

Alec: …

Me: Come out with it now.

Alec: -whispers/mutters- he needs help whether he should buy that new leather jacket

Jace: My best friend is officially gay. All you need is a rainbow, and you're all set to go.

Me: Shut up Jace. THAT'S SO CUTE. Just tell him go with Italian leather. It's always the best.

Alec: Whoah. Really?

Me: Yeah, because it's—

Jace: -covers ears- I AM NOT LISTENING TO THIS CONVERSATION.

Me: he so wants to. You can tell.

Alec: He does. But thanks anyways. Italian, Italian, Italian. Got to remember.

Me: BYE ALEC!

-Alec leaves-

Me: He's so nice.

Jace: You just like him because he likes guys. Admit it.

Me: do not! …that may be PART of the reason. A TEENY TINY PART.

Jace: I got you.

Me: I will so slap you. Or pinch you. Whichever one comes to me.

Jace: You scare me.

Me: And love me.

Jace: —what? No! I said you scare me!

Me: Isn't love and being afraid the same thing?

Jace: NO

Me: It so is.

Jace: Ugh. Whatever.

Me: Finally, you understand.

Jace: WHAT? No! I DO NOT.

Me: Hungry, Jacey? I made some mac and cheese for my growing boy!

Jace: I AM NOT FIVE.

Me: Are you sure?

Jace: yes!

Me: The mac and cheese is shaped like SpongeBob.

Jace: damn you.

Me: Works every time.


	2. Naked People

Me: Um, Jace?

Jace: Yes?

Me: Where's my favorite baseball bat, my glue gun and all my Popsicle sticks?

Jace: -to himself- damn, she knows.

Me: Knows what?

Jace: Oh, nothing. You know…spring cleaning.

Me: It's July. Summer.

Jace: It's never too late to clean!

Me: For some strange reason, I feel like you're not cleaning.

Jace: Why do you say that?

Me: Because I'm smart, for one.

Jace: HA. Smart?

Me: HEY….wait. Are you trying to escape?

Jace: Me? What? Escape? No. Of course…not.

Me: Why would you want to leave me?

Jace: …there's not even an answer to that.

Me: I'm amazing! Fantastic! Incredibly gorgeous too!

Jace: And you say I'm conceited?

Me: It's a fact, Jace.

Jace: Um yeah. Okay.

Me: Just to prove that I am worth being with, we're visiting a friend.

Jace: Jess…what friend?

Me: It's not Rob, don't worry.

Jace: OH THANK GOD.

Me: I never understood why you don't like him.

Jace: -stares- seriously? Are you kidding me?

Me: -innocent face-

Jace: he's crazy! Loony! Anything that can be locked up in a mental ward, he has!

Me: Oh you're just saying that because you accidently saw him naked.

Jace: MY EYES!

Me: It's not his fault you walked in on him in his room.

Jace: Yeah it is, when we were invited over!

Me: Um, we weren't.

Jace: …what?

Me: I just, you know, decided to surprise him.

Jace: so it's your fault I saw something that will haunt me until my grave?

Me: Hey! It could've been much worse.

Jace: How so?

Me: …you could've seen his grandpa naked…

Jace: Don't tell me you…

Me: That was one long day for me. I took aspirin then.

Jace: I'm so sorry.

Me: Tell me about it.

Jace: So who are we visiting?

Me: well, fictional or real is the first question.

Jace: hm. Let's try fictional because I can't take any chances. Naked people do not appeal to me.

Me: Unless it's—

Jace: NO ONE. Not even her.

Me: Whoah. You got something against naked people?

Jace: Yeah, I do. Clothes. Put them on.

Me: Racist.

Jace: That's not racist!

Me: Sureee.

Jace: -grunts-

Me: Shut up.

Mike: did someone call my name?

Jace: Oh shit. It's that kid from Twilight. Damn, I always thought he was annoying.

Mike: I'm right here.

Jace: no way, really?

Me: LET'S BE NICE. But I do have to say, we didn't really want you Mike.

Mike: Wow. Thanks. I'm always the guy who's alone.

Me: Well, duh. You're not very cute, not very sma—oops. Where are my manners?

Jace: Iceland, where they're probably hibernating.

Me: Stupid face. –hits Jace- anyway. Bye Mike!

Mike: I wasn't leav—

Jace: Oh yes you were.

-Mike Leaves-

Me: Do you think we were a bit harsh?

Jace: Yeah. But it'll do him good.

Me: I guess. Anyway, I have to take a shower.

Jace: NAKED?

Me: no, with my bathing suit and rubber duckies. YES, NAKED.

Jace: I feel like I'll become blind very, very soon.

Me: aw, don't say that. Iggy from Maximum Ride's blind and he's a pain in the ass sometimes.

Jace: Shouldn't you be happy? I'll only be a pain in the ass SOMETIMES.

Me: …I see your point.

Jace: Duh.

Me: okay, me and my NAKED SELF have to take a shower.

Jace: as long as you stay naked in the bathroom ONLY.

Me: I'll try.

Jace: I hate you.

Me: Your love is overbearing.

Jace: You're delusional.

Me: and you don't like naked people.

Jace: touché


	3. Dumplings&Flirting

Jace: Jess! Jess!

Me: WHAT? –drops pan-

Jace: OW! My _foot_.

Me: HA. You just screamed!

Jace: I did not scream. I was yelling.

Me: nope. You screamed like a little girl.

Jace: Did not!

Me: four, maybe five years old? Pigtails? I see ribbons. Pink ones.

Jace: shut up.

Me: Whoah there, cowgirl.

Jace: -glares-

Me: anyways, what did you want?

Jace: Outside! Random kid, stalking your house!

Me: Oh. Ben? Yeah, he's not stalking us.

Jace: what? You know him?

Me: oh, of course not. He just came to me to tell me he'd be around, taking pictures.

Jace: …of what?

Me: well, he never said actually.

Jace: oh my…he…you…watching…how oblivious can you get?

Me: You haven't seen me on a bad day.

Jace: yeah, I see your point.

Me: Whatever. He's like, ten. He can be creepy until he hits puberty. DOCTOR WHO IS ON! Yes!

Jace: oh no. not that again.

Me: -silent- are you insulting Doctor Who?

Jace: Yeah, I am. HE TRAVELS THROUGH A PHONE BOOTH.

Me: Does not, stupid. It's a TARDIS. Like, duh.

Jace: -grumbles-

Me: -tackles Jace-

**FIVE MINUTES LATER**

Me: I can't believe the fight ended by you giving me a dumpling.

Jace: The world is full of surprises.

Me: Yeah! Like, they actually have CORN dumplings! Ha!

Jace: And that was not one of them…

Me: I might be random, but I know my facts.

Jace: You _are _random.

Me: You agree!

Jace: I can't think straight.

Me: That's no excuse. Oh, hi Mandie!

Mandie: hi! Who's this kid?

Me: Oh, Mandie, this is the annoying, the obnoxious, and the one with the naked phobia Jace! And Jace, this is one of my best friends Mandie!

Jace: IT'S NOT A PHOBIA.

Me: So is. Denial won't help here.

Jace: I'm not den—

Me: it's okay. I forgive you.

Jace: …

Me: Okay, Mandie.

Mandie: Yeah?

Me: I decided that I have absolutely no idea what to do with you.

Mandie: …okay

–silence—

Me: oh! I have it! I say we flick Jace. I've always wanted to see what would happen.

Jace: No! I will not be tortured this way!

Me: We can always tickle you.

Jace: I'll eat you.

Me: Oh my. I always knew you were flirty. Now we see the real Jace!

Jace: I was not flirting with you!

Mandie: It seemed like it.

Me: Thank you Mandie! See Jace? No boy can resist flirting with me!

Jace: Alec didn't.

Me: BECAUSE HE LIKES BOYS. He flirts with you all the time.

Jace: No he doesn't! That's just…insane.

Me: Because it's the truth.

Jace: WRONG

Mandie&Me: RIGHT

Jace: Oh, by the way, we forgot disclaimers before. So if we're sued, it's so because of you. AND THAT'S NOT FLIRTING.

Me: Oh right. Nothing of Mortal Instruments is mine. Is that how you say them?

Jace: oh jeez.

Me: Stop flirting with me. It's embarrassing.


	4. Boys will be Boys

Me: Jace! Good news!

Jace: Really? I can leave?

Me: Oh. Well then. I got news!

Jace: Hip hip hooray.

Me: I am going to bring a GUY friend over.

Jace: …

Me: You guys can be masculine together!

Jace: Wait, you have straight guy friends?

Me: Yeah…

Jace: Oh. Wow.

Me: Go hit yourself.

Jace: My face is too precious for that.

Me: Yeah, okay. So his name is Ian.

Jace: Ian? Nice…

Me: Go hit yourself…harder.

Jace: Nah.

Ian: Hi guys.

Me: Hi Ian! This is Jace.

Jace: So, you're not…you know…into guys, right?

Ian: uh…no.

Jace: Did Jess somehow find you five minutes before and bribe you to be her friend?

Ian: nope. Sadly, I do it for free.

Me: IAN. Whose side are you on?

Ian: There are sides now?

Jace: Whenever a girl's involved, there are sides.

Me: It's true.

Ian: So much to know about girls.

Jace: That's why I go for the gorgeous ones. They're usually stupid.

Me: EXCEPT FOR ME!

Jace & Ian: …

Me: You guys are too stupid to know that TRUE beauty is not skin deep.

-Silence-

Jace: No. It's all about the face. And the body.

Ian: Here, here mate.

Me: The male population saddens me sometimes.

Jace: Only if you're ugly. It really brightens hot girls' days.

Me: No. Never. Boys are so immature.

Ian: Hey!

Me: Well, not you Ian. You're a special case. Very rare.

Jace: Yeah, Ian. Feel special.

Ian: Weirdly, now it feels like an insult.

Me: It's all because of Jace. That stupid shadowhunter.

Jace: I try my best.

Ian: Maybe it's because I'm programmed to just like face.

Me: Why God gave us you all when Taylor Lautner is out there somewhere, I don't know.

Jace: Really? You like werewolf guy? He's so…weird.

Me: Says the guy who cuts runes into his arm with a sharp rod.

Jace: It's not a rod!

Ian: Dude, it looks like a rod.

Jace: Which side are you on?

Ian: Seriously? You're acting more like Jess…

Jace: -makes a face- which is absolutely horrible!

Me: I'm still here you know, and I do have perfect hearing.

Jace: That's what makes insulting you so much more appealing.

Me: -pinches Jace- I decide whether you get fed or not, so be nice.

Jace: OW. Stop hurting me!

Ian: Ha. You just got beat by a girl.

Me: Oh, WE DON'T OWN MORTAL INSTRUMENTS!

Jace: Really, really random.

Me: I had to say it before I forgot.

Ian: Girls. Really.

Me: Go away Ian. You're not helping.

-Ian leaves-

Jace: great, now the only other testosterone filled person left.

-silence-

Me: That was just all EW.

Jace: Yeah, I'll admit it wasn't one of my best.

Me: It makes me think that you're gay. Or you just like testosterone. Which is really creepy. So be gay, please.

Jace: NO. NO. NO.

Me: You might be good looking, but you are so girly on the inside.

Jace: I'm going to kill you. –Tackles me-

Me: Whoah Jace. I prefer the flirting.

Jace: STOP IT.

Me: It's either being gay or being in love with me.

Jace: You make me sick.

Me: With love.


	5. Sarcasm

Me: Jace, is it weird that I'm feeling attached to you?

Jace: YES

Me: Okay, just wondering.

Me: JACE

Jace: WHAAT?

Me: NOTHING. I JUST LIKE SCREAMING.

Jace: SO DO I. SO THIS WORKS OUT.

Me: I HATE INSIDE VOICES.

Jace: NO KIDDING.

Me: ow. My voice box hurts now.

Jace: Mine doesn't.

Me: Because you're invincible.

Jace: You finally get it.

Me: Oh, you didn't hear the sarcastic tone?

Jace: …

Me: I should put little expressions so you know.

Jace: …

Me: Whenever I'm sarcastic, I'll put my pinkie up.

Jace: Your ideas scare me sometimes.

Me: Really? I thought it was pretty clever.

Jace: …

Me: STOP DOING THAT!

Jace: Before you, I was clever and witty and very egotistic.

Me: And now you have a low self esteem and aren't very funny anymore.

Jace: That hurt.

Me: This is progress!

Jace: how is this, in any way, progress?

Me: You aren't so egotistic that you actually have FEELINGS. It's almost like having a heart.

Jace: Soon you will get your karma.

Me: -snorts- yeah, okay. Oh, look who it is! Hey Isabelle!

Isabelle: Hey guys. Um, Jess, why is Jace giving you a very scary glare?

Me: Because he has feelings. And maybe also because I torture him relentlessly.

Jace: THAT IS NOT IT.

Isabelle: It so is.

Me: So, how's Clary?

Isabelle: I don't know actually. She might visit soon, just warning you.

Jace: Yes! Then I will be freed!

Me: Not so sure about that, mister.

Isabelle: Yeah Jace. Clary actually told me she might keep you here longer.

Jace: What if I kill Jess? Then can I leave?

Me: Like that would ever happen. –to Isabelle- He loves me. You can tell.

Isabelle: You know, I kind of see it now.

Jace: -gritting teeth- no, no you don't Isabelle. Lord, I hate you both.

Me: Isabelle, did you know that love could easily be mistaken for hate?

Isabelle: I always had a hunch about that.

Jace: You both are what make the world corrupted.

Me: Aw, really? Thanks Jacey-poo. You are so nice sometimes.

Jace: One day…

Isabelle: Okay, I'm outta here. Jace is scaring me and I don't have my whip on hand.

Me: I see, well bye Isabelle. Remember your whip next time!

-Isabelle leaves-

Jace: Aren't you forgetting something?

Me: Hm…no. I got my socks on, my phone is in my pocket, and I just had lunch.

Jace: Seriously? Those are the things on your mind?

Me: Well, DUH.

Jace: -shakes head- I was thinking more along the lines of a DISCLAIMER.

Me: Oh. Yeah. WE DON'T OWN MORTAL INSTRUMENTS except our plot.

Jace: We have a plot?

Me: We could.

Jace: It couldn't get better than what we have now.

Me: True. What we have is priceless.

Jace: I am so going to attack you one day, and dumplings won't be there to save you.

Me: You'll die in five minutes if you attack me. I know someone who knows karate.

Jace: And how does that help your situation?

Me: …

Jace: Nice.

Me: Shut up.

Jace: Ouch


	6. April Fools!

Me: So, did you ever get that thing you needed from Alec?

Jace: No –frowns- I don't think I ever will.

Me: so…what was it?

Jace: Subtle, aren't you?

Me: It's not my best trait, I admit.

Jace: No, really?

Me: -punches Jace- …I think it's time to bring Clary over.

Jace: FINALLY! MY SALVATION!

Me: We'll see about that. Clary! Clary!

Clary: Whoah, hey there guys.

Jace: -kisses Clary's feet- you're here! Yes!

Me: Sorry Clary. I don't have him trained properly…yet

Clary: -takes a step backwards-

Jace: Clary, take me away from here! This vile woman is taking me hostage.

Clary: Really? She's pretty nice. Plus, she's funny.

Me: Thank you. I keep trying to tell him that. He doesn't listen.

Jace: SHE IS LIKE A TERRORIST, ONLY WORST.

Me: Dude. You just used terrorist in vain. Bad move.

Jace: What the he—

Clary: You so did not just say that. –slaps Jace-

Jace: What did I do wr—?

Me: I think he should stay a while longer, just in case.

Clary: I'm starting to agree with you, Jess.

Jace: Just in case? Of what?

Me: Oh, you know. The usual.

Jace: …please, go on.

Me: Like, going rabid for instance.

Jace: -to Clary- DO YOU SEE HER INSANITY?

Clary: -to me- I'm starting to like you more and more.

Me: I try. =)

Jace: -to himself- All I need is some duct tape and a chair, and I'm out of here…

Me: -suspicious- those two things wouldn't have to do with tying me up, would they?

Clary: Oh, he's done that to Simon before. So watch out. Although Simon's fragile, so it was easy to get him into the chair…

Jace: -snickers- he started to cry after his twelfth hour.

Me: Who wouldn't, seeing your face for half a day straight?

Jace: Wait, I thought you loved me. Doesn't that mean you think I'm handsome?

Me: YOU ADMITTED IT! YES! YES! YES!

Jace: NO! Damn it.

Clary: What are you guys talking about?

Jace: -startled- It's not what it see—

Me: Jace has an undying love for me. He flirts like, non-stop.

Clary: -turns to Jace- Oh, really?

Jace: nooooooo that is not tr—

Me: I tried telling him to stop, because I'm a loyal friend. But this guy's hopeless.

Jace: I DO NOT LO—

Clary: Poor Jess. Once Jace loves you, you can never get away. Trust me on this. But I forgive you Jace for falling for her, because what male wouldn't?

-Complete and utter silence-

Jace: -stares- she so paid you to say that.

Me: Psh. No. –Winks at Clary-

Clary: -winks back- Of course…not. –to me- I'm going to abort this mission, okay?

Me: Yeah, you do that. This wasn't really working out.

-Clary leaves-

Jace: WHAT WAS THAT? I seemed like a complete idiot! In front of Clary!

Me: -sigh- a late April Fools joke, you sissy.

Jace: Not a sissy. I've killed more things than you have. And it failed horribly –smirks-

Me: -smiles- really?

Jace: Really!

Me: So this is what a bad joke sounds like? –plays tape-

_NO! damn it._

***skip***

_It's not what it see—_

***skip***

_Noooooooooo that's not tr—_

Jace: I hate you with a burning passion.

Me: -pinkie up- oh Jace, don't make me blush.

**I don't own Mortal Instruments! (if only, right?)**

**R&R! Please guys! (was this a good chapter? I just wasn't sure)**

**Love you all =D**


	7. Reviews&Twilight

Me: DID YOU SEE THE REVIEW?

Jace: Oh hell. It's so early in the morning for this.

Me: THEY LIKED IT.

Jace: No way! –pinkie up-

Me: -punches Jace- whew. I'm glad they did. Wasn't sure if Clary's appearance was good or not.

Jace: -reads review- HEY. He said you drive me mad!

Me: …

Jace: Point well taken. But I'll get revenge on this…this…**GerardoMM.**

Me: I bet he'll beat you up.

Jace: HE READS TWILIGHT.

Me: And have you seen the characters? I mean c'mon. Any guy who reads Twilight can kick ass.

Jace: Listen. I cut people with rods. That's pretty kick ass.

Me: No. That just sounds plain scary. Like you should be locked up.

Jace: You really do drive me mad.

Me: It's a sign of love.

Jace: One day, damn it.

Me: Hm. You know what? I'm out of people to invite over.

Jace: Sadly, me too.

Me: OH. I got an idea!

Jace: …

Me: WHOEVER READS THIS, LEAVE SOMEONE YOU'D LIKE US TO MEET x)

Jace: This will be interesting. NO ONE TWILIGHT RELATED.

Me: Everyone, this translates to TWILIGHT WELCOMED. Jace just doesn't want everyone to know he thinks Edward's hot.

Jace: Soon, you will be gagged. And it will be all because of me.

Me: and one day you will accidently fall off a cliff and then get eaten by fish. I'll take the blame.

Jace: we are too even of a match.

Me: Nuh-uh. Play me in Hide and Seek and I will so beat you. I'm like the Master of Disguise, girl version –does roundhouse kick-

Jace: …How does that in any way help your cause?

Me: Because I look like Chuck Norris when I do it. DUH.

Jace: -snorts- yeah, okay. And I'm ugly.

Me: ha! That's in the list too. Next to 'eats rocks'

Jace: THAT WAS ONE LOUSY DARE.

Me: Sure. It's okay. You can be weird. I accept you for who you are.

Jace: -tackles me-

Me: Look Jace! Your stele! –throws a rusty pipe-

Jace: -goes for it-

Me: Ha. Loser.

**Sorry it's short (and sorry if it's not the best quality), but it's late =) please, do R&R. I do need someone to meet….being with Jace is SO not fun unless there's someone else to help me make fun of him with! **

**There might not be another update for a week, because I'm going away tomorrow. I'LL TRY! Sorry guys! =( Jace**: You mean, I won't get tortured for a week? SWEET!** Me:** No. It means I'm leaving you with Rob.** Jace**: NO! MY EYES. I swear, if I see any part of him—and I mean an exposed leg, or arm—I will start gouging out my eyes. **Me:** Fine by me. You might even look decent then.

**xD **


	8. GUESTS!

Me: Jace. THERE ARE SO MANY OPTIONS.

Jace: I hate these people.

Me: No you don't, silly. They are your fans. You live for them.

Jace: Then I'll just die.

Me: -smiles- no you won't. You're too conceited for that.

Jace: True, true.

Me: Okay, so there are waaaay too many options.

Jace: Maybe we should defy them and DO NONE.

Me: Heck no. I think we should do them over time, so everyone is happy.

Jace: I can't wait to kill you.

Me: You watch out. I just saw _James Bond_ and _Knight and Day._ I'm well prepared for your wrath.

Jace: I can't argue with James Bond. He's a legend…especially with the woman –me gagging- but _Knight and Day_? Really?

Me: It was funny!

Jace: You wouldn't be able to live a day as a Shadowhunter.

Me: I know. I'd live a lifetime as one.

Jace: You are insufferable.

Me: The trait you love best about me!

Jace: …

Me: Anyways, I'm thinking we can do Alice first.

Jace: NOT TWILIGHT RELATED. DIDN'T I TELL YOU?

Me: Maybe…if I can recall correctly…

Jace: cliff…you…falling…piranhas…

Me: So romantic.

-silence-

Alice: Hey, Jess! Who's this cute, sullen boy over there?

Me: That is Jace. He is thinking about throwing me off a cliff…so I don't know why he doesn't look happy…

Jace: I just realized that you'd probably survive.

Alice: Hm. You _are_ cute. But you could use a new, edgy haircut…and maybe a bronze sort of skin tone...

Jace: Touch me and you'll be sorry.

Me: Yeah, Alice, you will be. His acne is just disturbing.

Alice: -laughs- c'mon Jace. I don't bite. Well, I won't bite _you_.

Jace: I'm bringing my stele just in case.

Me: Oh, no you don't –takes stele- TAKE HIM, ALICE!

-Alice drags Jace to bathroom-

THIRTY MINUTES LATER

Jace: -still in bathroom- I LOOK LIKE A MALE BARBIE!

Me: Like Ken? LET ME SEE!

Alice: -comes out- I'm proud of my work.

Jace: I'm not. –slowly comes out-

-silence-

Me: OH. MY. GOSH. OH. MY. GOSH. OH. MY. GOSH. OH. MY. GOSH. OH. MY. GOSH.

Jace: -to Alice- You broke her.

Alice: She's just in shock. She should be.

Me: YOU LOOK….YOU LOOK…LIKE A BLACK KID! **(Not being racist! No offense to any!)**

Jace: Thanks. –pinkie up- I was going for dark Asian, but Alice wouldn't let me.

Me: Good choice, Alice. I also like the cut. It's…surfer like.

Alice: Thank you! I thought it would bring out the good in him.

Me: Well, as far as I can tell, he's still the annoying, vain boy. But you cover that up very well.

Jace: -looks at self- Hm. I can probably blend in at night.

Me: Maybe with trees also. You can be like, CAMAFLOUGE MAN.

Jace: Okay, scratch that idea.

Alice: Oh! I'd stay longer, but Jasper is waiting. He needs his own hair cut.

Jace: Vampires grow hair?

Alice: We might be dead, but we aren't bald.

Jace: Wait. What?

Alice: Bye Jess and Jace!

Me: Bye!

-Alice leaves-

Me: That was such a nice visit, what do you thi—JACE! DO NOT WASH OFF YOUR BRONZER! –wrestles Jace-

Jace: You—will—not—stop—me—

Me: -bites Jace-

Jace: -yelps- What was that?

Me: That was me trying to stop you.

Jace: You are officially insane.

Me: Um. Duh. Who'd want to be normal?

Jace: NORMAL PEOPLE.

Me: Name one person who's 'normal'

Jace: …

Me: Told you.

Jace: Shut up.

Me: Ugh. Okay. NEXT AND LAST PERSON…FOR NOW!

Jace: Who is it?

Me: The adorable, the amazing, the awesome PERCY JACKSON!

Jace: Damn. That kid?

Me: Yes. That brilliant kid.

Jace: Don't put words in my mouth.

Me: Too late.

Percy: Hey guys. Hey Jess.

Me: -giggles- Hey Percy. This is Jace, from Mortal Instruments. I'm watching him, because he's unstable.

Jace: IS NOT!

Me: See?

Percy: Ha, yeah. So, what's up?

Me: Nothing. Jace is boring. How's saving the world?

Percy: Same as always –winks- Good thing about being the son of Poseidon is that you never get hot.

Me: -mutters to self- only in one way.

Jace: You never ask me how it is to save the world!

Me: Because you don't.

Jace: Um, yeah. I do. Valentine anyone?

Me: He doesn't count.

Jace: -about to combust-

Percy: Um…

Me: Sorry Percy. Jace thinks he's all that.

Jace: I AM ALL THAT! I AM!

Me: See?

Percy: Yeah. So, Jess, what have you been up to? I haven't seen you for a while.

Jace: You know him?

Me: Duh, Jace. And you know, this and that. –Smiles-

Jace: -says loudly- you don't _like_ Percy, do you Jess?

Me: Hold on Percy. I have to take care of this guy. –drags Jace to basement-

Jace: I never knew you were so aggressive.

Me: I will kill you and make sure no one knows, if you embarrass me again!

Jace: You like it.

Me: -punches Jace- I WILL…I WILL… -smiles evilly- I will tell him about you-know-what if you don't stop!

Jace: -give me a horrified look- You wouldn't.

Me: I so would. –goes back upstairs- Sorry, Percy. Jace just needed to go to the bathroom, and he's scared to go downstairs alone.

Percy: Oh. Well, isn't that awkward.

Me: I know, right?

Jace: I will kill you very soon Jessica. Very, very soon.

Percy: Is that part of his condition? Death threats?

Me: Yeah. It's sad, really. That's not even the worse of them.

Percy: I'm so sorry. –gives me a hug-

Me: -smiling hugely- me, too.

Jace: JESSICA. I NEED TO EAT. MY TUMMY HURTS.

Me: -gives Jace an evil glare-

Jace: -smiles sweetly-

Percy: I guess I'll go.

Me: Okay, you wouldn't want to watch this anyways –winks- Call me?

Percy: Anytime –winks back-

-Percy leaves-

Me: -turns to Jace-

Jace: -smiles until he sees my glare- uh…Jess…haha…wasn't I convincing?

Me: -advances toward Jace- You are SO dead.

Jace: Whoah there Nilly.

Me: -tackles Jace-

FIVE MINUTES LATER

Me: Well, that was fun.

Jace: Ech. Yew 'urt meh.

Me: All I did was punch you…slightly…in the jaw. You've beaten monsters! Sorry if I didn't know a girl punching you would disable your speaking abilities.

Jace: I 'ate yew.

Me: Your love is all I need.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mortal Instruments. Only this sort-of plot.**

**NEXT TIME THERE WILL BE TWO MORE GUESTS! Get ready… ;) **


	9. MORE GUESTS!

Me: Jace-y poo. TIME FOR ANOTHER GUEST!

Jace: …

Me: You're speechless! I knew you liked my idea.

Jace: I like it as much as I like mayonnaise.

Me: Whoah Jace. It's a wonder you're not fat.

Jace: I DON'T LIKE MAYONNAISE!

Me: But, I'm confused…

Jace: I should've put my pinkie up, shouldn't I?

Me: You're learning!

Jace: I'm like your slave boy.

Me: Just the way I like it!

Jace: Ugh. So who's next?

Me: Well, this girl suggested SpongeBob…and aw she's okay with you being a Cinderella person! YOU'RE ACCEPTED!

Jace: Cinderella kicks some ass in those glass slippers.

Me: And she says you'd be interesting as emo…wait, if you're not emo NOW what are you?

Jace: I'm—

Me: PUNK! I knew it.

Jace: I AM NOT PUNK. Punk is for losers with no life.

Me: Doesn't that describe you very accurately?

Jace: I hate you. So, are we having SpongeBob on or what?

Me: Well, I'm not sure if it would be weird…

Jace: -sputters on drink- what? You, saying something is weird?

Me: The world will combust, I know.

Jace: I say we try it. I've always wanted to meet a yellow sponge.

Me: Well, you can always go under the sink. I also have pink ones if you're interested.

Jace: Oh, you're hilarious.

Me: Thanks. So, I'm sorry **Dolphin321**, but SpongeBob is not coming on. =(

Jace: BOOOOOOO!

Me: -throws book at Jace-

Jace: Ow.

Me: It's Ow, _Mistress_, to you, Slave Boy.

Jace: Okay, _Mistress_.

Me: Okay, next up…James Stark. Um. –Whispers to Jace- have to read the series?

Jace: Uh, I'm a guy, remember?

Me: Oh, yeah. It's just so hard to tell these days.

Jace: I will break free of my chains and make sure you pay.

Me: HA. Just another for kicks-HA. Okay, so um, **charlotteok**, WE WILL BRING JAMES ON. Let's hope he's nice…

Jace: NO MORE TESTERONE.

Me: I thought you loved that. Being slightly gay and all.

Jace: …

James: Hey guys. I'm psyched to be here.

Me: Whoah. You're…cute.

Jace: oh no. Here she goes again.

Me: -hits Jace DISCREETLY- So, how is it, being undead and all?

James: Pretty awesome. Although wanting to eat everyone's a bitch sometimes.

Me: Tell me about it –pointedly looks at Jace-

Jace: Hi James. I'm Jace, the enslaved kid Jess kidnapped from India.

Me: He was cheaper than the other ones.

James: And I can see why.

Jace: HEY, HEY, HEY. I'm the slave boy here. I AM THE SNARKY ONE.

Me: Not anymore, dude. Not anymore.

Jace: -tackles James-

Me: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

-BOYS ARE FIGHTING (any girl's dream!)-

**TEN MINUTES LATER**

Me: I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU SCARED HIM AWAY! He was SO cute! AND NICE!

Jace: And a wussy. What about Percy, anyways?

Me: Long distance relationships are a hassle. So, next one up, I guess?

Jace: …I still can't believe you didn't allow SpongeBob on…

Me: He understands. So…whoah long list…so I'll do Paris Hilton first.

Jace: Why her?

Me: WE SHARE THE SAME BIRTHDAY! =DDD

Jace: That's a good thing?

Me: No. But I feel loved anyways.

—firecrackers start, random cameras flash, smoke fog starts—

Me: HERE SHE COMES!

Jace: -mutters- has a flair for attention, doesn't she?

Paris: Whaa?

Jace: -eyes widens- she…hot…face…

Me: -nudges Jace-

Jace: She might be crazy, but she's wonderful to look at.

Paris: Why thank you, um, peasant boy.

Jace: At your service, ma'm.

Me: Oh gosh. Here we go.

Paris: You both are _so_ lucky you're not paying to see me…

Me: How much would it be, if we were?

Paris: $2,000 an hour, give or take.

Jace: -still staring-

Me: -hits Jace in the face- That's for clearing your head.

Jace: Wait a second. _You're_ allowed to go all girly for those two guys—especially Percy—but I can't appreciate Paris?

Paris: What? Yeah!

Me: AT LEAST MY GUYS HAD BRAINS.

Paris: …I can't argue with that. But I do have something else that they probably don't have.

Me: -covers face- please…don't say it…

Paris: MONEY!

Me: -surprised- Oh!

Jace: -suspicious- What did you think she'd say?

Me: …

Paris: So, peasant boy, want to fan me? I'm getting a bit hot.

Jace: YE—yes. Of course I shall.

Me: You're only embarrassing yourself in front of all your loyal fans.

Jace: -snorts- Okay, Ms. All-Over-Percy-And-James

Me: Hey. They're irresistible.

Jace: Paris is too!

Me: Ha. No. As long as you avoid sketchy clubs and boy drool, then you're nowhere near her.

Jace: I hate you.

Me: Did you hear that Paris? He said he hates you!

Paris: PEASANT BOY! You don't have the privilege of insulting me!

Jace: It wasn't to you Pa—

Paris: Now you can't oil me!

Jace: NOOOOOOO

Paris: Well, now I have to go find a new boy to oil me. Sketchy clubs, here I come!

Me: Bye Paris!

Paris: Bye, bye Jess! I'll send you something nice soon…maybe one of my guy rejects…hm

Me: Wow. Thanks.

-Paris leaves-

Me: BOYS. Ugh.

Jace: I. Hate. You. So. Much.

Me: YOUR LOVE IS MY DRUG.

Jace: Then shouldn't you be in rehab?

Me: Nope. Because I got plenty of your generous love. It just rolls off you.

Jace: No, that's my Hate that's rolling off me.

Me: Still as sweet.

Jace: …

Me: NEXT TIME, WE WILL HAVE MORE PEOPLE!

Jace: …Hot people?

Me: No redheads, sadly.

Jace: I will—

Me: WAIT! Yes there is! –laughs secretly-

**THE END **


	10. MORE MORE GUESTS!

Me: IT'S TIME FOR MO—

Jace: More guests. I know.

Me: You're cute.

Jace: …

Me: BEFORE WE BRING MORE PEOPLE, I must address a few things.

Jace: Huh?

Me: Um, first, Jace, someone says hi…a **Kaitlyn1717.**

Jace: Oh. Well, hello there. –wink-

Me: -rolls eyes- Another thing is that maybe I WILL bring SpongeBob. I don't like disappointing reviewers. But don't get your hopes up.

Jace: BOOOO!

Me: -smacks Jace- the last thing is that yes, I do drive Jace crazy.

Jace: No duh.

Me: But I don't hate him. We just love each other so much; we have to express it in other ways.

Jace: WHA—

Me: You should hear him and his pet phrases for me. It's very embarrassing sometimes.

Jace: -becoming red- WHA—

Me: So, no, I do not hate this annoying, obnoxious boy. He is the light of my life.

Jace: HA. I SEE YOUR PINKIE IS UP.

Me: Stop hallucinating. Crack is Wack. There's no Hope for Dope.

Jace: Are you suggesting that I'm taking drugs?

Me: There's time to Stop before you Pop.

Jace: …

Me: I made that last one up, in case you were wondering.

Jace: No kidding.

Me: So, next guest…RON WEASLEY! I LOVE THIS KID SOOOO MUCH!

Jace: Don't tell me this is the redhead.

Me: YEAH IT IS! –fist pump-

Jace: Never do that again.

Me: …Agreed.

Ron: Hey guys.

Me: WIZARD!

Jace: -covers face- this is so embarrassing.

Ron: Yeah, I am. Although my wand's been a bit tricky today, so I'm not my best right now.

Me: It's okay! Can you do something cool? Like levitating stuff?

Ron: I'll try. _Wingardium leviosa!_

-smoke erupts, sparks are flying everywhere, and then a KABOOM-

Ron: -hair is shocked and face is all black- That went well.

Me: It's better than anything I ever saw. I LOVE WIZARDS. AND HOGWARTS. AND HARRY POTTER. AND DUMBLEDORE. AND RON, OF COURSE.

Jace: What about me? I do cool stuff…

Me: Mhm. I LOVE YOUR HAIR RON! Sorry, it had to come out.

Ron: It's okay. A lot of people love me for my hair.

Me: Well, I love you anyways. You always have this special expression in the movies I dub as the 'Ron Face'.

Jace: Wow.

Ron: Well thank you.

Me: No problem. I just love wizards, and I get stuck with Shadow dude over here.

Jace: I'll show you!

Me: -fake scared voice- oh no! you're going to hit me! While you have tattoos on your arms! NOOOOO!

Jace: …

Me: Okay, I admit that was kind of mean.

Jace: No duh.

Me: It's just that I LOVE YOU OH SO MUCH!

Ron: -laughing-

Jace: Oh no.

Me: MARRY ME JACE!

Jace: …

Me: Ha. I love that expression.

Ron: Oh, I have to go be a wizard and all. It was fun meeting you guys. Really. Loads of fun.

Jace: I hate you too. You're just like her –points to me-

Me: That's why he's so likeable! Bye Ron!

-Ron leaves-

Me: -looks at list- oh.

Jace: What?

Me: Um. We have to invite Justin Bieber on. I don't hate him, but I'm not one of those crazy people who'd jump into his trailer or anything.

Jace: You seem like you would.

Me: Only for people who I love. Like Ron, Percy, you, and random hot guys.

Jace: You are so selective.

Me: There are 6 billion people on the planet. I have the right to.

Jace: So, anyway, lets get Justin over with. JUSTIN.

Justin: Hey guys, whatsup?

-girls scream, cameras flash and applause starts-

Me: Whoah. You come with the whole package.

Justin: -wink- well thank you.

Me: -hits self in face- Not that way…

Jace: Justin, how old are you?

Justin: 16…

Jace: …And when do you hit puberty?

Me: JACE! It's not his fault that even Daniel Radcliffe thought he was a girl when he heard Justin sing

Jace: -snorts-

Me: Sorry Justin.

Justin: Nah it's okay. I get it a lot. And call me Bieber.

Me: …I'd rather not.

Jace: How does it feel to have loads of girls pining for you?

Justin (**not Bieber)**: It feels natural.

Jace: I know how you feel.

Me: The only person who's pining away for you is my great Aunt Jane, the one that reminds you of a girl version of Filch, from _Harry Potter_.

Jace: Hey! You do too! –outraged-

Me: I don't pine for you, because I already HAVE you. Um, DUH.

Jace: Oh. Right.

Justin: So…-flips hair-

-unbearable girl screaming starts and me and Jace are on the floor covering our ears-

Me: NEVER. FLIP. YOUR. HAIR. AGAIN.

Justin: ha, sorry. –mini flip-

-little gasps-

Me: Jace, you can beat him up if you want.

Jace: Thanks –tackles Justin-

**AN HOUR LATER**

Me: Thanks so much. I still can't believe he left after only I got the popcorn.

Jace: Do you think he liked us?

Me: a bit too much.

Jace: Thought so.

**Sorry late! And please don't hate me for not liking Justin Bieber….=))) I can't help myself.**

**xoxo**


	11. Websites&Body Spray

Me: I've decided that we will hold on to bring guests.

Jace: Hm? Why?

Me: Ech. Let's have a few normal conversations then we'll bring in the people. It's a break.

Jace: YES!

Me: -groans-

Jace: I didn't like that Bieber guy…he kind of goes against evolution.

Me: No duh. He's a…just an ew. Gosh, we should have Fang come…-sigh-

Jace: Who? That silent, dark and winged guy?

Me: YES. That's who. That nice piece of hunk.

Jace: Erm. –uncomfortable-

Me: -day dreaming about Fang-

Jace: Well, you have me. Which is like, more than an equal.

Me: you don't have a website where squealing girls go and blog, do you?

Jace: Uh. Not _yet_.

Me: Yeah. Okay. Like anyone would love you enough to write like, "OMGZ YOU ARE SO HOTTZ I LURV YOUZ" or something like that.

Jace: What kind of uneducated person would write that?

Me: Um, teenage _girls_. See? You're so not helping their self esteem right now!

Jace: What? I'm not suppose to be encouraging them to write like they never learned how to! What's with all the 'z's anyways?

Me: This is why you will never have fans. There's some poor little girl crying because of you right now.

Jace: Let them! They probably are only crying because they _can't read big words!_

Me: Another little girl started crying right….now.

Jace: Well, you're no boy magnet.

Me: -scoffs- OF COURSE I AM! Do you see any little boy crying? NO! I've got a whole list of guys…and _they're_ hot.

Jace: Are you trying to say something?

Me: No…I still love you, so it doesn't even matter. It's like I'm married to you.

Jace: …

Me: Jace-woo I'm not of course! I was just saying. I like being free.

Jace: Free?

Me: You know, flirt with other people.

Jace: Who? Like seven year olds?

Me: you have a sick, sick mind.

Jace: Ha. You know it's true.

Me: I'm sorry if my perfume attracts them.

Jace: you and perfume?

Me: Well, it's _Degree Sexy Intrigue Body Mist_. Isn't that the same thing?

Jace: … no. No it is not.

Me: I still smell good. That's all that counts.

Jace: -takes spray and smells- yeah. I guess.

Me: -takes it and sprays him completely- NOW YOU SMELL LIKE A GIRL!

Jace: -sniffs self- Now seven year olds will be swarming me! YESSSSS. –pinkie up-


	12. Yellow Square

**Sorry it's late guys, I was on vacation! Hope this makes up for it =)**

Me: So…Jace…what did you do while I was gone?

Jace: Wait, you were gone?

Me: -stares- yes! For like two weeks! Where did you think I was?

Jace: Well the last thing I heard from you was 'I'm going to the bathroom'…

Me: So you thought I was in there for two weeks?

Jace: I guessed you were just…uh…having trouble…

Me: -smacks face- oh my gosh, you're stupider than I thought.

Jace: Hey! You didn't even say bye!

Me: Dude, must we have a flashback?

Jace: Fine!

Me: Fine!

*flashback starts*

Me: Hey Jace, I'm leaving for two weeks. So I'll tie you up next to the TV, and I left some food near you. –to mom—I have to go to the bathroom, hold up. Kay, bye Jace!

Jace: -drooling, watching TV- mkay…

*flashback ends*

Jace: Is that all?

Me: That's all you need to know! I did say bye!

Jace: I hate you.

Me: That's getting old. You say that, like, every five minutes.

Jace: I despise you with all my heart til the day I die.

Me: I LIKE IT!

Jace: Oh gosh.

Me: What?

Jace: You just don't get it…

Me: …

SpongeBob: WHOAH. HI.

Jace: -looks at me- hey, erm, SpongeBob.

Me: hahahahaha. Hey sponge-y bob.

SpongeBob: HI LAND CREATURES. I AM SPONGEBOB, A SPONGE FROM UNDERWATER. I SPEAK ENGLISH.

Jace: WE DO TOO.

SpongeBob: Oh, thank barnacle! I thought my throat was getting sore. I don't want to use my water to waste!

Me: So, SpongeBob, what's up?

SpongeBob: Uh, -to self—this is a trick question! –to us—THE SKY, AIR, LAND, TREES, PEOPLE, BUILDINGS, HORSES, CAMELS, AND COWS.

Jace: -on the floor laughing-

Me: -holding it in- yeahhhhhhhh….

SpongeBob: WHOAH.

Jace: Wha—laughs—is it?

SpongeBob: IM YELLOW.

Me: You didn't know that?

SpongeBob: The water makes me colorblind.

Jace: -laughing so hard, he is turning red-

Me: Oh. I should've known. Ocean water is a tricky one.

SpongeBob: I know right? OH CLAMS.

Jace: What now?

SpongeBob: I have to go. Gary is reading again…

Me: That's bad?

SpongeBob: Of course not! It's just that he gets the books oh-so slimy…

-SpongeBob leaves-

Me: Whoah.

Jace: Ditto.

Me: I think my love is tied now, with you and SpongeBob.

Jace: If I could love a sponge, I'd love him.

Me: He's a crazy square.

Jace: Who lives under the sea.

Me & Jace: OH CLAMS.


	13. Stealing&Jesus

Jace: Jess, where's my cell phone?

Me: la, la, la…huh, Jace?

Jace: -narrows eyes- I said, where's my cell phone?

Me: OH! That old, sleek black thing that you flip open and put to your ear?

Jace: Yeah, _that_ thing.

Me: I have absolutely no clue of it's location.

Jace: Jess…

Me: OH LOOK AT THE TIME.

Jace: …

Me: IT'S COOKIE TIME

Jace: …

Me: oh shut up.

Jace: So where is it?

Me: Ugh…I hate to tell you…but…FANG DID IT.

Jace: Huh? What?

Me: He…um…came over…and…

Jace: He doesn't even know us!

Me: THAT'S HOW HE WORKS.

Jace: Okay. Let me call in Fang, and see if this is true.

Me: Don't you dare! He's a dange—

Jace: OH, FANGY BOY.

Fang: Why does everyone insist on calling me that?

Jace: You picked your own name bro. blame yourself.

Me: Oh, well, hi there Fang…erm…OH MY GOSH. Look at the clock! Fang, you better leave before Jace talks. He has Turrets disease and it's a vulgar thing to go through…

Jace: Shut up.

Me: See?

Fang: Mhm.

Me: Gosh, you really don't say a lot.

Fang: I can.

Me: But you won't.

Fang: Mhm.

Me: -thinking- unless….hey, Fangilicious…whassup?

Fang: I AM NOT FANGILICIOUS AND WILL NEVER BE FANGILICIOUS AND WAS NEVER FANGILICIOUS.

Jace: Have to hand it to you Jess, you really pushed his button.

Me: And that is how you make Fang talk.

Fang: I hate you.

Jace: YES! YES! YES! ANOTHER PERSON WHO HATES HER!

Me: He doesn't hate me.

Fang: Ech. It depends.

Me: What if I give you a hamburger?

Fang: Then it might just go away.

Jace: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Me: Hahahahahahahaha.

Jace: -gets evil glint in eye- wait…so…what about my cell phone?

Me: Jace…

Jace: Sources say you have it Fang.

Fang: What source?

Jace: J—

Me: JUST NOBODY.

-gets weird looks-

Me: I have mild Turrets too. It happens.

Fang: mhm…

Me: Okay, bye Fang!

Fang: What about my ham—

-gets shoved out-

Me: I hate you Jace. With a sprinkle of love.

Jace: Oh Lord.

Me: Jealousy is a disease, so don't catch it. I know you were jealous of Fang.

Jace: Lord, Lord, Lord.

Me: Don't be. You're the one for me.

Jace: JESUS, HELP ME.

Me: He already has! He lead you to me.

Jace: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?

Jesus: You're Jewish.

-Jesus leaves-

Jace: -mouth open- whoah.

Me: -mouth open- wow.

Me&Jace: I JUST MET JESUS.


	14. The Absurdly Large Bag

Jace: SCHOOL HAS STARTED!

Me: And why are you so happy about that dreadful fact?

Jace: It means 7 hours of the 24 that I don't have to see you! –gleeful skip—

Me: Ha. You're so funny.

Jace: …why? –stops gleeful skip—

Me: Why do you think I bought an absurdly large bag?

–silence—

Jace: Never. It'll smell like girl deodorant and evil.

Me: If evil smells like mint gum, then yeah. A whole lot of evil stored in green boxes. Don't open them. You know what happened to Pandora.

Jace: Life wasn't worth living before the challenges. Although everyone would be happier if you weren't one of them.

Me: -flattered—I'm a mystery that no one can over come? Romantic. –bats eyelashes—

Jace: NO.

Me: I'll let you figure me out if you want. –Wink-

Jace: -screams and runs into absurdly big bag-

Me: -zips bag- HA.

-Silence-

Jace: -muffled- before you I was dignified and witty.

Me: Everything has to come to an end sometime.

Jace: But for me, I thought it'll end once I die. Not once I meet a crazy girl who keeps me captive.

Me: I thought we were on better terms than that!

Jace: I'm in a BAG, zipped up so I can't ESCAPE. Is that how we start off on a _good_ term?

Me: You have your way and I have mine. We have different belief systems.

Jace: What, your belief is the belief that keeping people against their will is what you should do?

Me: Kinda.

Jace: Girl, you got problems.

Me: That I hope you can solve. –wink-

Jace: I COULD SMELL THAT WINK.

Me: Now you're creepy.

Jace: Some things must start some time.

Me: I thought that would happen when you became a 75 year old man, not when you're captive in a bag.

Jace: Things just don't turn out the way you want them to.

Me: I know. I was hoping that my captive would be like, Orlando Bloom. Not an amateur hottie.

Jace: I take offense.

Me: Oh I know, don't worry. I'm just letting everything out, because you can't really give me the Look of Doom in a bag.

Jace: Oh, I'm giving you the Look of Doom alright.

Me: And I'm giving you the Look of Pity. I'd hate to be owned by a girl who wasn't a Shadowhunter. I mean, I got you in a _bag_.

Jace: TALK TO THE HAND BECAUSE THE FACE AIN'T LISTENING.

Me: If only I could see your hand. But it's covered BY THE BAG THAT I TRICKED YOU INTO.

Jace: Kiss this.

Me: What, my cloth sewn up to resemble an absurdly large bag?

-silence—

Me: Oh, you're giving me the silent treatment. Because that's all you can do. I understand.


	15. After Effect of the Absurdly Large Bag

Me: jeez, school is…hard.

Jace: Um. Yeah.

Me: SHUTUP. You never went to school.

Jace: -looks at me- OF COURSE I DID.

Me: STOP LYING.

Jace: -mutters- racist.

Me: Of what? Shadowhunters? That's not your nationality!

Jace: We have our own homeland!

Me: Which, I believe, some Shadowhunters have never visited?

Jace: You're getting off subject.

Me: Ha. You're all huffy 'cause I beat you.

Jace: PHYSICALLY AS WELL.

Me: -taken back- how?

Jace: THEEEE BAAAGGGGG!

Me: -starts to uncontrollably laugh-

Jace: I have horror stories that will make your hair stand up.

Me: Yeah okay, lemme guess. 'I was…right next to the MATH BINDER! NOOOO!'

Jace: You don't understand! You're a girl!

Me: Hm. Then find someone who _does_ understand.

Jace: Fine. –claps hands—

Simon: Whaa?

Me: Out of everyone? Seriously?

Jace: He's a guy! Well, vampire now, but still a guy!

Simon: -mutters- who still doesn't like you.

Me: HA.

Jace: That doesn't matter right now! We both know I don't care what the bloodsucker thinks.

Me: Now who's being racist?

Jace: Ugh, anyways. Simon?

Simon: Yes, oh Hideous One?

Jace: Like you can talk, Mr. Pale. Anyways, what would you say if you were trapped in a GIRL'S absurdly large SCHOOL bag, for say, an hour.

-silence-

Simon: -wide eyes- ….th-the hor-horror….oh my….even though I don't need to breathe anymore, I'd die in there. Officially die.

Jace: Voila!

Me: I don't buy it. Simon's…an exception.

Jace & Simon: HEY!

Me: Bye Simon!

Simon: I'm not going anywhere mis—

Me: BYE SIMON.

-Simon leaves-

Jace: He was a real life example!

Me: If you take out the 'life', you might have something going for you.

Jace: GIRLS ARE ICKY. THAT'S THE END OF IT. I WILL NEVER LIKE ONE AS LONG AS I LIVE.

Me: Aw, is this because of me?

Jace: -nods angrily-

Me: YAY. I MADE AN IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE :D

Jace: I can't wait 'til I get free.

Me: That'll only happen when you die.

Jace: I can't wait 'til I die.


End file.
